Far Away
by AnGelFacE S2
Summary: Merlin never needed anyone because he had her. Always.  Merlin/OC
1. Far Away

**Author's Note:** I'm just going to write this one-shot songfic about Merlin and my OC Kiya. I thought this up when I was listening to my ipod on the way home from one of my random car rides. So I'm sorry if it's not up to scratch.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing except for Kiya. 

**This time, This place  
Misused, Mistakes  
Too long, Too late  
Who was I to make you wait  
Just one chance  
Just one breath  
Just in case there's just one left  
'Cause you know,  
you know, you know  
**

As kids, they were the best of friends. He would show her magic whenever she was sad so he could see the smile he loved so much on her face; he would tell her stories of a far away kingdom where she was a princess. Because to him, that's what she was.  
She was his princess. 

The long flowing brown hair which he longed to run his hands though, the blue grey eyes he had lost himself in more then once; her infectious laugh which had him laughing along with her every time. They would chase each other around the village while their mother's talked and made them dinner.

They didn't have a care in the world. 

She was the one who he could trust with every secret. She knew about his magic and she never once judged him for it; in fact, it made her love him more. Because he trusted her enough to tell her this, and never once did she look at him any different.  
To her, she was Merlin.  
_Just Merlin_.

They were ten and eight but they were best friends; their mothers knew, they had smiles on their faces. Knowing smiles on their faces. When the two children were back into the comfort of their homes; neither of them would ever sleep due to them wanting to see the other.

**That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore**

They had come back from a hunting trip carrying three dead rabbits and what looked like a bird in her hand. They were laughing and joking around like they usually did. William; a mutual friend of theirs, had come over to help carry the load back into the kitchens of their houses.  
Merlin looked at Kiya and saw her in a different light. He didn't know how it happened but one day; her hair seemed that little bight more glistening, her eyes seemed that bit brighter, her lips looked more full, and his heart was pounding out of his chest.  
He was sixteen. 

When they were sat around the small fire; with the stars above them twinkling in the sky, the glow of the fire bouncing off her face. He looked at her once and saw her looking at him, he blushed and looked away. He wondered if she was thinking the same as he was. Everyone had called it in for the night so it was only them in the village awake. Like it usually was.  
Just the two of them.  
He started telling her another story, the way he did when they were kids and there was a smile on her face so bright that even the large, full moon in the sky couldn't compare to it.

He had never even seen her move closer to him, she was fourteen and feeling safer then she had in such a long time. Her head was resting on his shoulder as they both watched the fire; talking about the future. Where they would be in ten years time. Neither of them knew, they weren't even sure if they wanted to know where they would be. The usual questions arose and they didn't know how to answer them. What he did know was that no matter who she was or who she married; she would always be his princess. And slowly; she moved her head up to face him, and placed her lips on top of his own and whispered the words 'I think I'm in love with you'

**On my knees, I'll ask  
Last chance for one last dance  
'Cause with you, I'd withstand  
All of hell to hold your hand  
I'd give it all  
I'd give for us  
Give anything but I won't give up  
'Cause you know,  
you know, you know  
**

There were celebrations all around. He was eighteen and she was sixteen. What they were celebrating he wasn't so sure but there was loud chatter, dancing, music, and cider. He looked around the crowd and saw her; her brown hair falling over her shoulders, her eyes glistening in the light. She was talking to Will and laughing quite loudly. A pang in his heart made him walk over to them and join in the conversation; it was jealousy that made him walk over to them. He placed his arm around her protectively and brought her into him. Will raised an eyebrow, giving Merlin a look which showed him that he knew the feelings he had for the younger woman. 

As the night wore on, no one seemed to want to call it a night. There was more laughter in the village that night then no one had heard before.  
They didn't want it to end.  
Merlin danced with her a few times and stumbled over his feet while doing so; making her laugh more then she had ever. Tears were falling down her face as he smiled to himself at his succession of making her laugh.  
She cautiously led him over to her house where she took him to her bedroom. He looked at her with a confused expression before he saw the look on her face.  
He knew what she wanted him to do. 

His hands were shaking more then they ever had before. He untied the lace on her dress as she took off his dark blue shirt with equally shaken hands. He kicked off his boots as he gently lied her on the bed. He swallowed deeply before capturing her lips in a passionate kiss. He knew they both wanted this; he knew she wanted it. Yet he pulled back from her before beginning anything too serious. He had to be sure that she wouldn't regret it later on. And with the look in her eyes; her mouth whispering his name; he took her fully.

**That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore  
**

When he told her he was leaving for Camelot, he never thought he saw how much hurt in her eyes then he did at that point. Her voice, so soft yet so loud at the same time asked if he was ever coming back. And he replied truthfully; because he knew he could never lie to her. So he told her he didn't know. Maybe one day he would. But then again, he knew just as much that there was a chance that he might not.  
He took her face in his hands and kissed her lips. It was only chaste, but everything he had tried to say to her was in that kiss and she knew it. 

All the way to Camelot; that kiss lingered on his lips. He found he had the overwhelming urge to know what she was doing at every moment of everyday. It almost broke his heart to be away from her. He didn't know what he was going to do without her now. She had been in every aspect of his life; he had been there for as long as he could remember. Their mothers were best friends and, being so far away from them; from her. He knew he was going to be lost. 

When he saw his new home on top of the mountain; he immediately thought of her and how much she would love it there. Here, she would really be a princess.

**So far away  
Been far away for far too long  
So far away  
Been far away for far too long  
But you know, you know, you know  
**

When his mother came to Camelot to ask for their help; he wanted to ask her so many questions about home. His main one was to ask if Kiya was safe; if she was hurt any way. But he couldn't. He had written to her everyday since he came to Camelot; but he had never heard back from her. No matter what he was doing, she was never far from his mind. Because he loved her more then anyone and thing in the world.  
It was that which gave him reason to return to his home. 

He saw her for the first time in what seemed like a lifetime. She was carry buckets of water up a small hill; he climbed off his horse and immediately ran to help her; ignoring Arthur, Gwen and Morgana. The look on her face when she saw him almost made him laugh.  
_Almost_.  
Because he saw her eyes, saw how almost dead they looked; they had lost their spark to them. Their fiery wit. 

**I wanted  
I wanted you to stay  
'Cause I needed  
I need to hear you say  
That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I forgive you  
For being away for far too long  
So keep breathing  
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore**

He asked her; he tried to get her to open up to him the way they did when they were younger. Yet she wouldn't. She would pretend she was okay when he knew she was anything but. Even when they were training to fight in the battle he would try; yet he couldn't.  
He explained to her that nothing had changed, his feelings for her still remained the same even though he left. 

She looked at him with tears in her eyes and asked him why he didn't take her with him. He didn't know why he didn't; he knew he should have, yet he didn't. So he gave a weak apology and walked away from her. The way he did one year ago. 

**Believe it  
Hold on to me and, never let me go  
Keep breathing  
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it  
Hold on to me and, never let me go  
Keep breathing  
Hold on to me and, never let me go  
Keep breathing  
Hold on to me and, never let me go  
**

When it was all over; he walked over to her and held her hands in front of them; he pressed a small kiss to his lips and asked; 'Come to Camelot with me? I need you there with me. I love you more then anyone in the world'  
She smiled and shook her head 'I'm needed here' She let go of his hands and walked away from him. Leaving him with tears trailing down his cheeks. He felt his stomach drop to the very pit of his body as he wiped away his tears and walked over to his friends from Camelot. He decided they were all he needed now; his friends. 

With one last look at his old home; he saw her standing there watching him leave with tears down her cheeks.  
_His princess._


	2. Savin' Me

**Author's Note:** So I'm going to dedicate this chapter to TheFirstEverLostGirl1987  because they want me to write another chapter; so here it is! ^.^ 

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything (Not even the song) I only own Kiya. 

**Prison gates **

**won't open up for me  
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'  
Oh, I reach for you  
Well I'm terrified of these four walls  
These iron bars can't hold my soul in  
All I need is you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And oh I scream for you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'**

She remembers the first night he left. The tears falling down her cheeks as the sobs racked throughout her body; not even Will or her mother could pull her out of this stupor. It was almost like she was someone completely different; it was like she had lost her soulmate had vanished from her life.  
Well in some ways he did.  
The days went longer because he wasn't around; he wasn't there to tell her that he loved her nor was he there to give her soft kisses in the dead of night when they would sit silently in the forest because they didn't want anyone to know about them.  
He wanted her his little secret. 

It was harder then she would have thought to be without her best friend; there was nothing to do. In eighteen years of her life; this was the first time she had been genuinely _bored. _It was quiet, almost too quiet for her liking. The birds weren't even singing this morning, and that's how it all started. With the silence. It was the silence which became the loudest thing in her life, because he wasn't around to fill it. To hug her and tell her that it's all going to be okay.  
She missed his gentle words of comfort when she felt like crying. When she looked up at the stars at night, she wondered if he was looking at the same ones and thinking of her. 

**Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me  
**

She had sent him letters, yet never got one in return. It made her wonder if he had ever received them, or if he had ever found anyone else and just forgot about her; because as she sat here waiting for him, he was off saving the world.  
He was her hero.  
The food was always placed in front of her, yet it was never touched. She pushed it around her plate but she couldn't touch it; every time it slid down her throat, it tasted like poison. She would spit it out almost immediately. She tried to ignore the worried looks of her friends and family, but she wasn't having any of it. She couldn't. 

When she was ambushed in the forest, when she was beaten repeatedly and held by the five men; she thought she wanted to die. She wanted him there, rescuing her, telling her that he didn't love her any less. But he wasn't there, so she just felt filthy, dead inside. And he wasn't there.  
She hated him at that moment.  
He was living the life she always wanted. She wanted him so badly to take her away from there and take her to some magical, far away kingdom and just love her. But he didn't. He left her to rot. 

**Heaven's gates won't open up for me  
With these broken wings I'm fallin'  
And all I see is you  
These city walls ain't got no love for me  
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story  
And oh I scream for you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And all I need from you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'  
**

When she saw him again, she didn't really know what to think of it. She didn't know if it was because of her, or because the village was under attack. He was too busy gallivanting around with Prince Arthur to really pay any notice to her; so she stayed in the shadows, listening to the speeches, the only time they really spoke was when he was teaching her how to fight.  
And then when night fell, he finally saw her; he didn't look through her this time, he saw the pain in her eyes, the sorrow. He felt how skinny she was and wondered if she was looking after herself. 

She wondered if he should know; about the men and the sorrow she felt after he left. But she saw how happy he was, being Arthur's servant. Making real friends. Her and Will shared a look with each other; both having the same thought. He didn't need them any more. She was only his first...well, everything. And he was his best friend. Not like he needed them any more.  
So she blocked him out until the fight was over and the war was won. He asked her to go back to Camelot with him; and she said no, because she was needed here. And she didn't want her burden on his shoulders. Not any more. 

**Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me  
**

He told her that his feelings hadn't changed; that he still loved her. But she wondered, deep in her heart, if she told him the events that had happened over the year would he still love her the same. He wasn't so sure any more. Her head was so messed up that it hurt. Her heart hurt more then anything though. She wanted to run into his arms and say everything she needed too.

She felt like she had so much more here for her; like there was something keeping her here. Even though there were so many bad memories; she felt like she couldn't leave. 

They stared at each other for what seemed like a lifetime. She nodded once to him placed a kiss on his lips; hoping that everything she needed to say was said in that one kiss. She broke it off and stood back from him; allowing him to leave whenever he was ready. He kept pleading for her to come with him; to start a new life. But she stood her own ground and told her that she couldn't leave. 

**Hurry I'm fallin'**

All I need is you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And oh, I scream for you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin'  


She watched him leave on the back of the horse; watched as it rode out of the village and out of her life. She turned around and let out a scream of shock as one single stray arrow pierced through her stomach. The four nobles from Camelot stopped and turned around; watching as she dropped to her knees, her hand around her wound. Blood seeped through her fingers as she looked up at Merlin as he jumped off the horse and ran over to her, fear and tears in his eyes. 

She fell back and looked at the arrow which came out of her stomach. She listened to his pleas to stay with him as she drifted in and out of consciousness.  
He inwardly winced as he pulled the arrow out of her stomach and threw it on the ground. He placed her head in his lap and looked at her; he continued to cry out for her as her mother came running out. 

**Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me**

She wondered if she would find peace here; if Merlin would tell her everything now; tell her why he left for Camelot, tell her why he never replied to her letters and tell her why he left her behind.  
The remaining three from Camelot had beheaded the man who shot the arrow at Kiya, and they returned, watching a heartbreaking sight before them.  
Their friend was dying in the arms of her first love. 

He continued to cry out for her; begging her not to leave him, not to leave him alone. She placed her own bloodied hands on his cheeks and shook her head at him; she felt dizzyingly light headed. She whispered her love for him before she closed her eyes for the final time.  
He clutched on to her as if his own warmth would bring her back to life. His sobs echoed throughout the village as her mother cried into someone's shoulder.  
He didn't think he could bounce back from something like this... 

**Hurry I'm fallin' **


End file.
